[Kiai]

Kink Ch.1: OMFG WTFIGO?


MUAHAHAHA! CRAY Z NESS! Chimaster Wang-sama pushed me to do this,
so DON'T FLAME ME... please?! The only catch? Well there is none.
Anything is free game (i.e. where they live, what they do for a living etc.),
everything but their personalities. I'm basing our personalities off of what
Kyubichan drew in her comics (currently located in the archives for the c3f
comic) and what I've heard from people on c3f.This is not a chain fiction thread, so please wait until ch.2 before you interject with your ideas!

"OI CHIM! You in there?" A woman with brown hair and a hooded sweatshirt
was banging down his door. What had he done?

"Um, who... who is it?"

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHO IS IT?"

The girl sounded really angry he noted, she was kicking door now and screaming at the top of her lungs. It was a suprise to him that no one else in his apartment building had come to see what the commotion was about.

"ARE YOU GONNA LET ME IN OR WHAT YOU FUCKING TWIT?"

"I seriously don't know who you are, or what your doing in front of my door,
or how you know me by -that- name, so unless you have a reason please,
by all means, leave." He noticed her draw the strings of the hood down
tight in frustration, the pacing back and forth through the small hallway a
clear indicator of how pissed she was.

"You really don't know me?" She huffed.

"I'm telling you the truth, now will you PLEASE just leave?"

"What the hell man? Pssh. Alright, alright I get when I'm not wanted. I've just never been blown off this badly before." He watched her turn and begin walking then collapsed with his back against the door.

"What the heck would she feel the need to talk to me that badly for? Must
have had the wrong room I gu"

He was interupted by a loud thump against the door.

"What the hell?" Without thinking he cracked open the door, the bright light
of the hallway stinging his eyes. It took only a moment to adjust. In front of him, at his feet was the body of the girl that had just been talking to him, her forhead plastered against the frame. Not thinking he threw open the door and lifted her into his arms. Setting her down on a chair in the corner he grabbed a glass of water and the phone.

"Hello operator? yeah, I need emergency services. What? Yeah I'll hold."
The music was soothing and old, kind of the like the music they played in
the elevators he noted.

*#Campus medical facilities Mrs. Norton speaking, how may I help you?#*

"STOP!"

Her scream nearly made him drop the phone, his hand clamping down so
tight it cut the line.

"I don't know how the fuck you got me in here, but I can finally take care of this!" He flinched in anticipation, thinking she'd pull a gun out of somewhere, instead She pulled the hooded sweatshirt off and smoothed out her hair letting a pair of cat ears pop up through the tangled mess.

"Who the, what the hell..."

"Am I?" She answered. "That's not important. What is is how fast I can get
this message through to you. My name is Kiai"

"Wait, hold on, like C.3.F. Kiai?" His face was riddled with confusion,
something that made her smile.

"Yeah, yeah, shutup! Anyway, I'm here to tell you that something's going
wrong with the server and, well, we're kinda stuck here like this."

"Wait, like what?"

"You mean you don't know?"

He shook his head.

"Dear god are you fucking serious?"

"I havn't the slightest idea of what your talking about, and I'm thinking that
bonk on the head kinda did you in a bit. why don't you have a drink of
water or something." He handed her the glass of water.

"You really don't know what's going on?" She took the glass of water and
downed it in one swig and began scratching the back of her head. "That explains why you wouldn't let me in. That's going to make this harder then."

"So wait, wait, what made you fly all the way from japan to here? I mean,
your not on leave are you?"

She shook her head.

"Then why the hell are you here? And how the hell did you find out where I live?"

"Just shut up will ya! Let me just give you a brief 'down and dirty' of what's gonna happen, since it appears your about as clueless as everyone else here, and I don't have all the time in the world."

He nodded his head.

"In about thirty seconds I'm going to pass out and appear to be dead, but I
won't be. Keep me here in a safe place, like your basement or closet until I
wake up again okay?"

More nodding of the head.

"Just trust me on this one, I don't have enough time to explain, and you
seem to trust me enough on the boards to crack jokes about fucking me in
the ass with a double headed dildo."

Chimaster Wang, at least that's what he was called on the boards, blushed furiously. She chuckled lightly at that, her brown eyes scanning the room for the computer she'd eventually need. There! in the kitchen... an odd place..

Noticing how stiff and disoriented he was she decided to take a more motherly stance. She softened her voice and crossed her arms. "Just relax and this'll go smoothly until I wake up again okay?"

He nodded.

"Good, now where's the bathroom, I've gotta pee so bad I'm about to..." Kiai's cat ears flicked violently along with the shudders of her body. She became stiff as a board, her pupils diolating to the size of saucers.

"What the hell?" He wondered. "Oh my god she died! And right in front of me
no less!"

The girl's eyes grew dark and her head fell to the side. He began reaching for her, but before he had a chance she face planted into a table, completely destroying it, still stiff as a board.

"Somehow I just know this is going to turn out bad..."




Kink ch. 2: WTF is now FTW...



YAY! I'm almost done with chapter two and it should be up by wednesday. You'll understand what's going on better when you read ch.2. Thanks for reading, and I just want everyone to know this'll be really... weird!

[Hawkeye]

Intresting really.... I can not wait to see the next turn out, is anyone else going to star in this little fortay of yours Kiai?

Any way Tally hoe...

[PJ-Animation]

That's pretty interesting. Wonder what'll happen next.

[Chimasterwang]

Oh noes it happened XD
Well great story Kim "Looks foward to second chapter"
Btw thanks for using sama suffix XD
"I don't have enough time to explain, and you seem to trust me enough on the boards to crack jokes about fucking me in the ass with a double headed dildo." =P

[kyubichan]

I'm thinking the server affects us in real life somehow, and we'll all fit in that world of weirdness somewhere... like in .hack! But the other way around! ^^ Whoo-ooh!

[Hawkeye]

-Sound of a Shot gun being cocked, Warpaint being drawn and UnderPants being Pulled over forehead-

'Sir Perverted Black op's Team, readly to elimnate the threat'

[Chimasterwang]

Yeah well i have Kims body in my apartment
Gah im waiting for second chapter to have views or something XD
@Kyub Well yeah when Kim suddenly stops it mite be her logging out or something i kinda worked that out b4 you said that, gah interesting story XD

downed it in one swig and began scratching the back of her head. "That explains why you wouldn't let min. That's going to make this harder then."

"Let me just give you a brief 'down and dirty'"

[Kiai]

Kink Ch.2: WTF is now FTW...

Yet again another romp into crazyland. I got good response on this one so
hopefully I'll be able to keep writing 'dis ting.' Work is getting pretty tough,
long hours and such so I'm trying my hardest to get this done by
wednesday. Thanks all for reading! Love ya!

"Yeah Kyub I'm telling you the truth! I'm serious she's here right now, well
kinda..." There was a pause followed by a sharp *bleep* whistling from the
computer. "What do you mean I should check the boards? We were arguing
on there? How! She was right here! No, I'm not calling you a liar-Yeah,
but... Okay I'll check."

Syphoning through the miles of threads and posts about daily life as usuall
he was directed to the general thread where there inscribed in bold black
letters was a thread titled: "OMFG WTFIGO?"

"Oh My Fucking God, What The Fuck Is Going On? Posted by Kiai last
night... THAT WAS THE SAME TIME SHE APPEARED HERE!" Hurriedly clicking
the link he was thrown into a world of confusion unlike any he'd ever been
part of before. Something was really wrong he thought, something bad.

The link finally loaded the page and left him in pure disbelief.

"This isn't right, someone's playing a trick on me! There's no way my entire
conversation with her would be posted up here!" He read through it, and
sure enough word for word it was there, her final line being: 'Good, now
where's the bathroom, I've gotta pee so bad I'm about to...'

"This is impossible! Wait... I know!" In a mad bout of anger and fear he
jumped up and began looking for the phone. Tearing the phone from the
jack on the wall he threw it to the ground hoping he'd find what he was
looking for. There in the pile of resistors, gates, and transistors was...

"NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! No bugs or transmitters, but..." He was
interupted by a thump in the kitchen. More thumps followed by faint cries of
anger.

"OH JESUS I FORGOT!" Throwing the phone halfway across the room he
sprinted to the kitchen freezer, a floor model, and threw open the lid. There
sitting nearly frozen and shivering madly was the familiar catgirl he'd met
just yesterday.

"Fu..." She moaned.

"Fu?"

"Fu... Yu..." She moaned again.

"Fu what?"

Sitting upright suddenly her ears and eyes shot up and open quick as
lightning. Jumping out of the freezer she threw her chilled hands at his
throat hoping to strangle the life out of him.

"FUCK YOU YOU IDIOT! IN THE FUCKING FREEZER? OF ALL FUCKING PLACES!

GOD DAMNIT DO YOU HAVE ANY COSIDERATION FOR OTHERS? YOUR LUCKY

I'M HALF FROZEN BECAUSE IF I WASN'T I'D PISS ALL OVER YOU I HAVE TO
GO SO BAD!"

"Gach... The... Bath... Room... Is... The first on the right." He squeaked
out.

She let him go with an evil glance as she tore down the hallway. Half an
hour later wet from the thawing shower and wearing nothing but a towel
and a pair of sneakers, she sauntered in.

"Your lucky you idiot! I've got a right a mind to slug you one good!" she
shook her fist for added effect.

"Um, hehe, uh..." He was blushing now, his long hair hanging down, he was
obviously trying to hide his embarrasment.

"What?" She asked.

"Sorry."

"Oh, well that's okay I guess. Not many people have been able to react to
stashing my body as well as I'd like them too, but that's normal."

"No, no, not that..."

"What then?"

"Well I... *cough*"

"Oh, I get it now!" She smoothed out the fur on her ears and walked up
close to him, breathing a whisper into his ear. "This must be the first time
you've had a woman in here in a while."

"Actually..." He stammered.

"That's okay, I don't bite." Her voice low and husky.

"It's not that either..."

"WHAT? THEN WHAT THE HELL IS IT?"

"Here!" Thrusting his hand out into the air he managed to knock her off
balance, her hand releasing her grasp on the towel around her body. She
stammered backward into the wall shear anger wrinkling her smooth
features. His eyes were still clamped shut, a long dark brown object hanging
from his hand. Suddenly realizing what it was, she did a double take.

"YOU CHOPPED OFF MY TAIL!?"

"Kim, it's not what you think!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT YOU IDIOT! THEY'RE FUCKING LISTENING!"

He began to open his eyes but then regretted it. She was still stark naked
her arms folded across her chest in anger. His eyes drifted downward from
her arms to her stomache, and then...

"What the... What's wrong with you?" He pointed out in horror.

"Ahh! It's about time I got down to this, but uno momento por favor!"

Grabbing her tail from his hand she shoved it into the receptacle above her
bountifully stark bottom with a resounding *click, cerchack*!

"You've got no... Anything!?"

"No nipples, body hair or orifaces of any kind other then my mouth and nose
here."

"Then how do you, you know?"

"Pee?" He knodded. "Well by all accounts It's not really urinating I suppose,
but it is freeing waste. However I don't feel you need to see that right
now."

Kiai took great pleasure in molesting peoples brains on the boards, he
thought, was it because she couldn't physically molest anyone?

"Are you an android?" He asked.

She shook her head and rewrapped herself in the towel, the tail wrapping
around her waist like a belt.

"Think of me as an android if that helps you, but I'm definitely not 100
percent. I'm not 100 percent human either."

"You are the 23 year old drunkard Marine from Japan right?"

Making her voice very low and leaning in close she whispered into his ear.
"That's my physical flesh and bones body. In here I like to think of myself as
the 16 year old catgirl bondage queen you know as Kiai."

"So your not really her?

"Oh no, I am her, I just happen to be a little physical manifestation the
system brewed up to represent my subconscience.

"In here, physical body, system?" He was starting to withdraw from the
conversation, his eyes darting around the room with a million crazy
questions flowing through his head.

"Hello?" She waved her hand in front of him. No response. 'Time to reboot.'
She thought, a wicked smile suddenly curling her lips. Winding up her fist
she brought it full bore into his jaw sending him flying across the pile of
wood and glass that had been his coffee table earlier in the day. He landed
with a soft thud on the couch, his eyes going dim.


Sorry this sort of tap danced around the topic I was suppose to answer,
but I was running short on time. Physical training and a lack of people at
work have made life a living hell for me, so this is the best I can do at the
moment... SORRY! Oh yeah, don't think I left y'all out of this...


Kink Ch.3: OF... DOT DOT DOT... ALOT? AKA: Ignorance Shields The Downright Scatterbrained.

[PJ-Animation]

Even more interesting...

Any possible idea of when the next chapter'll come out?

[Chimasterwang]

Yay anouther chap thanks for doing this for us despite your situation Kim =D
It was good, I like the way you portray me and you in same place XD
I dont get embarresed or blush in rl well not in the last couple of years atleast i think XD
Why wouldnt i look at your body normaly its just a body XD
"No nipples, body hair or orifaces of any kind other then my mouth and nose
here."
Now that sounds like a good body XD
Well anyway interesting story i want to see what happens next now =P
Now you can have a hug from me =P XD

[kyubichan]

"You are the 23 year old drunkard Marine from Japan right?"

ROFL XD

Awesomenezz.

[Hawkeye]

Pfff..... Errrr.... Chim your a lucky Repeat Lucky Bastard!

[Chimasterwang]

Just so you know the story didnt actualy happen XD
If Kim was around on msn some time and i am aswell i mite just have to thank her meh thanks Kim XD

[Lord Enigma]

Very, very weird... Yet strangely amusing...

I'll be waiting for the next chapter...

[Kiai]

Kink Ch.3:OF... DOT DOT DOT... ALOT? AKA: Ignorance Shields The Downright
Scatterbrained.

Whew! two chapters done already and no writers block? How long can this last? Last chapter was kinda weak so hopefully this one will spice things up a notch. Once again, thanks for takin a looksee at this here story.

The sky was a swirling abyss of nomadic colors, the air a sweet smelling cocktail of grass and untouched virgin earth. His body was floating, moving along with the world as if part of it, his soul one with everything around him. The vision fit with every preconception he had ever had of heaven, but there was something not right here...

"Where, where am I?" He asked to no one in particular.

"I don't know, where are you?" A booming voice with a thick australian accent
responded.

"Who's there?"

"Who want's to know?" The voice mocked.

"Chimaster Wang."

"Well, Mr. Wang, if your lost I suggest you get found." The voice boomed once again.

"That doesn't make any sense. If I'm lost, and there's no one here to find me, then how do I get found?" He was scratching his dissimbodied head trying to understand the voice's logic.

"That's quite the question isn't it!? Your going to have to lose yourself completely to understand that one."

"Wait, what?"

Laughter filled the air as the voice boomed once again.

"All right, all right, calm down. I suppose if you get right down to it your really nowhere at all, and yet if you think about it harder, your really everywhere at the same time."

"So I'm dead?"

More laughter, this time in sharp howling cackles.

"NO, NO! by all means no!"

"So what the hell is going on?" The horizon was beginning to turn a firey orange red, something that made the voice stop laughing. "No answer?" Chim challenged.

"Relax! Relax! Jeeze. It seems the girl did indeed know what she was talking about." The voice took a second to clear its throat. "My name is Lynk, and I am the keeper of this edge of the system. This particular plane that we inhabit is used primarily to house the souls of the living, but only temporarily so."

"Wait, hold on... So you mean to tell me the moderator of the c3f is actually god?"

"Well I wouldn't go so far, but you are pretty close."

"So is this where Ki... er Kiai goes when she um, 'dies'?"

"User Kiai is a particularly unusual case thanks in part to her "condition". I provide her with a valuable I.P. mask when she uploads herself periodically so that she always has a way to uh, er, "escape" so to speak."

Chim sat cross legged while he floated over the landless plaines below him, his mind deep in thought.

"I'm not dead?" He asked.

"That's correct."

"Then, she's dead?"

"That's... Well... Think of it this way; her normal body is unable to house a soul at the moment and this is just her temporary home."

Shaking his head, although it did clear his vision slightly, didn't clear his mind as he had wished.

"If she's not really "alive" alive, and if our conversations and actions are being

transcribed into posts on the forum, does that mean I'm not real?"

"I don't think your ready to here the truth just yet, but what I can tell you is this; be prepared for some pretty weird happenings as the worlds merge, you'll see what I mean."

"Merge? Is that what's happening? Our worlds are merging together?"

"I'm sorry user Wang, but I have said too much already." The voice stopped and the scenery returned to the original tranqual blue it had been when Chim arrived. "Say hi to the bondage queen for me, oh and tell her that I sent her a new riding crop."

"Bondage queen? Riding crop? What the flipping hell are you talking about?"

"Just tell her, she'll know."

The world began to swirl into a monstrous storm of color and light, the beautiful plains flowing in on themselves creating a black hole of darkness which began engulfing everything.

"Wait! I've still got more questions to ask!"

"Sorry, but you've been "found". We'll meet again long haired one."

With a sound of snapping fingers the world went completely black.

"dosfkj akdsl odklsl?"

"sokjdo asoo askll..."

'What the hell?' He sputtered out.

"SLEKI;OIJD! ASLKD!!!!"

'Oh god, what's going on now?' Feeling a sudden rush of pain and nausea rush over him he whimpered weakly.

"Oh wow, I thought you killed him for a second there." Someone's voice, it was unfamiliar.

"Nah, sometimes it takes that much to reset someone. Hopefully he'll wake up a little more enlightened." The crazy catgirls voice he noted.

"There he's opening his eyes now!" The unfamiliar voice again.

"Unggh... What the hell happened? Who... Who are you?" He was staring into the eyes of a girl, not much older then Kiai he noted. She had bright blue hair, and playful brown eyes.

"OOOH! IS CHIM CHIM HEWTED?" She cocked her head playfully and punched him in the chest.

"Kyu... Kyubi?"

"In the flesh! Er... So to speak."

"Kyubichan will be staying here for a few days. So get all cozey and nice with her unless you want to have a bad time."

"How... I mean, I must of been out a while for her to have flown all the way here." He said, the confusion obvious.

"Oh I don't know, maybe two or three hours I guess. It was funny making you dress up in all the costumes we brought!" Kyubichan held up what looked to be a tuxedo top with assless chaps for the bottoms.

"I wanted to really get to know you better, hehe, if you know what I mean." Kiai pointed to a small pink cylindrical object on the counter seperating the kitchen from the den.

"YOU WANTED TO DO WHAT!?"

"Relax, Relax, Kyub stopped me before anything drastic happened."

Chim sama let out a sigh of relief.

"You definitely owe me a cookie for that one!"

"I don't have any cookies..." He muttered.

The cute little girl he had seen only moments before grew enraged in such a way that he nearly passed out again. Her soft brown eyes gave way to red ones, and her hair straightened into mess of barbed bunches.

"NO... COOKIIIIEEEEZZZ?"

"You've gone and done it now buster, she's in kill mode. The only way your gonna get out of this one is if you somehow get her a cookie or..."

"OR?" He screamed.

"COOKIIIIEEEZZZZ!!!!"

"Or if you do something weird enough to offset the cookie rush."

"How weird?"

"Pretty?" A smile cracked across her face and her ears shot up, she was eyeing the pink two headed moster sitting on the counter, her tail waving back and forth seductively.

"Damnit..."


Hmm... some lemon scenes coming up soon, but they're not what your thinking of. Hope this tides ya'll over!


Kink Ch.4: THAT DOESN'T GO THERE!

[Hawkeye]

XP oh you Poor Poor Sod, I'm just glad I'm not in this story

[Kiai]

XP oh you Poor Poor Sod, I'm just glad I'm not in this story

Your glad? MUAHAHAHA! YOU'VE JUST GIVEN ME INSPIRATION! Be prepared to cringe Mr Hawk.

Once again... Another MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just for you my dear.

MUAHAHAHAHA!

hahaha... haha...

I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

[Hawkeye]

"OH Crap"

-Runs off to Grab his Helmet and Battle uniform before diving behind a Sandbag fortifcation-

"Catch me if you Can!"

[Kiai]

There's no point hawk. I already have you in the fourth and fifth chapters.

[Hawkeye]

-Clank- -Bang- -Clunk- Blast Door Firmly closed and locked

Muffled shoutingI' Ain't comming out!

[Kiai]

You may not be willing, but your digital avatar will be. We all have digital avatars, a representation of ourselves that carries over to the non physical, computer informational world. My avatar's problem however, is that her host body has been messed up so bad that her real honest to god soul has been implanted in the net for safekeeping.

I won't let out any more spoilers, but I'm not the only one who's been body snatched...

[Lynk Former]

It's good being me.

[Hawkeye]

-Eye around-

All right who been doing the body Snatching? Lynk it had better not be you...XD You don't know ere my body been

[Kiai]

It's definitely not Lynk, in fact you could also consider him a victim.

[Maverick]

i so wanna read this but I don't have the time XD

[Hawkeye]

-Grins Madly like a Chesire Cat-

[PJ-Animation]

Wonder when I'll be showing up.

And I suppose I should be worried as well, about what'll happen to me when I do show up.

[Lynk Former]

It's definitely not Lynk, in fact you could also consider him a victim.

^^ Kim, sweetness, I'm never the victim when I'm the admin...

[Lord Enigma]

I starting to love reading this... hehehe...

When's the next chapter coming out?

[kyubichan]

Lynk is God. Awesome.

And "cccooookieezz?" XD You really got my, uh, essence. Which reminds me of last night, I had iced tea and choco mousse for dinner, and I was turning around this Happy Feet tumbler and saying, "OMG, so many penguins!". Even Rad was weirded out...

*hugglesh Mommy* I love yoo! Now let's go hurt Chimy.

[Chimasterwang]

Brilliant chapter i want to see whats coming up next =P
What will happen to me XD
Are you going to massage my prostate with that thing?
Booming Aus voice great =P
Is the whole bit near the start a level 4/5 shroom trip(jking) XD
@Kyub: If you called a glass or whatever in real life a tumbler me and my mum mite both start laughing XD
Also my bro and sis went to see that film the other day XD
@Kim: Your good at writing these things =P
So is Hawk getting what he wants or what he dosnt want XD
Anyone noticed that people just turn up at my apartment =P

[Kiai]

Work schedule is crazy because we're getty ready for another long deplyoment (in a country with internet thank god) and I'm very short on personal time and sleep. Christmas won't be a fun one this year. Next chappy will be up by either thursday or late friday. Depends on wether or not I've got extra duty.

I'm not gonna spill the beans on what happens next but I'll tell you that there will be lots of hot and heavy dildo play.

[Hawkeye]

-Slips a Cassete of Wagner into the Tape Player-

Don't make me press Play....

[Analog]

A tape player? Is there one of those that still works?

[Hawkeye]

Well a CD, MP3 or an MD player doesn't has the same effect as a good old fashion Cassete tape

[kyubichan]

*raises hand* I have thish stereo with a cassette playurh... deck A still worksh!!! ^^

[Kiai]

Just wanna let you all know I havn't posted an update in a while due to personal stuff back here. IM NOT QUITTING THOUGH! Update will be up in a few days... I PROMISE!

[kyubichan]

DATTEBAYO! *flails*

I mean...

"GANBATTE!!!" ^^ Go Miss KIM!!! And I hope you're alright and all that <.<

[Kiai]

Three chapters already done? Wow! This is so cool! Really though, thanks for
sticking with me on this, I love writing these things! !!!!
Disclaimer blahblah.

Kink Ch.4: THAT DOESN'T GO THERE!



Freeing a magazine from its pouch and tapping it on her thigh lightly to set
the precious ammunition into place she jammed it in. Pulling back the
charging handle along the stock of the weapon she knew she was set. The
black military fatigues blended perfectly with the darkness surrounding the
area, their likeness to a swat, or special forces unit not a coincidence.

Looking back at her two similarly clothed comrades she gave a slight knod
and motioned for them to move the door. Hugging the door frames they did
as told, their weapons held tightly in their shoulders at the ready. The team
leader moved forward, the explosive priming as it touched the metal surface
of the door.

"Ready in... 3..." She motioned the last two numbers with her fingers and
pressed the activation button. A loud explosion blew the door inward and not
more then a second later the team moved inside, their movements a
methodical routine drilled into their bodies with years of work. Scanning the
room with their muzzles, all three moved as one, their backs to eachother
tracing each nook and cranny for any and all threats to themselves
individually or their teammates.

"Clear." Came a young but powerful female voice.

"Clear." Came a male voice.

"Clea-Wait, I've got something here." The two converge on a room with
photos of women, both naked and clothed, that line the wall. In the center is
the sleeping body of a familiar englishman, airsoft rifle clutched in hand,
camera slung round his neck.

"Disarm him Wang-sama. I'll keep you covered." The leader motioned.

"Gee, thanks... If he wakes up I get to shoot him though, okay?"

"Yeah okay, but leave the torso for kyub, she'll put it up in the firing range
next to the picture of Scar." She said with a deep smirk.

"Roger that. I'm goin in."

Chimaster Wang moved slowly over to the side of the bed, his finger gracing
the trigger a few times, a bead of sweat slipping down past the goggles on
his forhead. Taking his non-trigger finger hand and reaching out for the
weapon, he kept his own more lethal weapon at the ready.

"Hey, what the hell?" The sleeping form began to stir.

"OH SHIT! ICE EM!"

"Gwhat teh heckle is gon on here?" The confused man sputtered out.

He didn't have time to respond more, his body was riddled with a volley of
tiny tranquilizer rounds and he passed out only moments later.

"Good job Chim, you've got reflexes like lightning!" The older woman said.

"Wow, mr hawk has an awesome collection of she people!" The youngest
pointed out.

Chim turned to the tactically clad catgirl to his side and to a picture on the
wall.

"Must be her real body. Nice..."

"What? Did you find something?"

"Oh, uh, nothing!" He fidgeting for a second then quickly changed the subject. "Hey, uh, OH I KNOW! Hey Kyub!"

"Yes?" She asked innocently.

"I bet Mr Hawk has some excellent cookies somewhere around here, you
might fiind some if you look!"

"OH MY GOD THAT'S A GREAT IDEA CHIMY!" The girl ran off in search of her precious fuel.

Chim turned to the other girl with a look of forboding.

"I'm never going to forgive you for scaring the living hell out of me back at my apartment."

"Awe come on! She's totally harmless and you know it. Besides, you totally
loved it, all of it."

He shuddered, his mind wandering back to a few hours earlier...

***** a few hours earlier *****

Kyubichan had become a raving beast of evil before his very eyes and he
was, at the moment, totally lost. In one hand he held a bottle of salad
dressing, and in the other the two headed hot pink sex toy of death.
"So what are you gonna do with that big boy!" Kiai breathed seductively into
his ear.

He shuddered slightly staring at both items frozen in the grips of his hands,
the wicked form of kyubichan hovering over the two of them-waiting.

"Well I was thinking about doing a little of, a well uh..."

"Yeah?" She breathed.

He stood there fidgeting, his head darting back and forth between the two
objects and her.

"THIS!" Rearing back he pushed the catgirl onto the coffee table, a small yelp
escaping from her lips.

"TAKE ME OH CRAZED WARRIOR OF SEX!" She screamed crazily.

Opening the bottle of salad dressing and wriggling the dildo in his opposite
hand like a dying fish he did the only thing that one with a bottle of sticky
lubricant and a foot long sex toy could do. Jumping on top of her in a fit of
both anger and excitement he pinned the girl to the table, his eyes flaring.
She stared intently into his, her hand moving to clear strands of hair from his
face. With a wet squelching sound the deed was done, and events even one
of the gods couldn't have forseen were set into motion.

More wet squelching sounds and a small moaning could be heard from the
mess of two individuals in front of kyubichan. She stared intently at the two
entangled bodies her mouth watering slightly.

***** a few hours later *****

"All that and all you did was give her a cola."

Kiai glanced at him through shaded goggles, her body tencing up with

laughter. Pulling the goggles down around her neck she let loose into a hollow
cackle.

"Awe come on Mr. No sex! Lighten up!" She smiled.

Chim laughed and scratched the back of his head.

"You should have just asked for a back massage! You were more tense then
a the other side of a welcome mat."

"Welcome mat? Whatever, bit of a draw back to this body I guess." She shrugged.

"What the devil? You gave her a... a... backrub?"

They spun to see Hawk, sitting up in bed, eyes as wide as saucers the
tranqualizer darts still in his body.

"You did load them up with the max tranq rounds right?"

"Yeah, I did just as you said, here watch." Pointing his rifle toward the
person in bed he squeezed the trigger letting a three round burst fly. They
connected with a couple wet smacks, but Hawk seemed unphased.

"YOU GOT TO TOUCH HER?" The pajama clad pervert asked.

"SHOOT HIM AGAIN!"

They both opened up with a barage of tranqualizers strong enough to kill a
horde of horses. Instead of wavering, Hawk rose up on two feet and started
advancing like a zombie toward Wang-sama.

"Oh boy, well I didn't want to have to do this Hawk..."

Digging through the small duffle bag attached to her back she came out with
a few pictures of her own. With only a glance the boy fell back, his eyes
rolled back and his body convulsing.

"What the hell did you do to him?"

"Last years comic-con photos of my buddy Man-Faye." She giggled.

"That doesn't seem too bad, I've seen Man-Faye too."

"Well, four words: Speedo and package wedgie."

Chim shuddered and turned his gaze to Hawk.

"Your out of your mind you know that?" he said.

"Thank..." Kiai's eyes went grey and her body froze before falling face first
into the ground.

Sighing Chimaster Wang unslung his rifle and hung his head.

"Someday I'm going to look back on this and laugh. I'm going to laugh a really
horrible long drawn out psychotic laugh, and all this will be just a freaking
memory...




Next Chap... TBD

[Hawkeye]

Nice Story Kiai, but I'm afraid Chim isn't getting off so lucky. -Pulls Berreta out from under his pillow-

Chim you & me NOW!

Oh and Kuybichan the cookies downstair ontop of the Fridge/freezer

Plus the pictures of the scadly clad Girls where actually taken down yesterday, True... I'm starting decorating my room soon.

Plus out a UCC Can of Coffee, Kiai I hardly slept these past few weeks, damn World of Warcraft -yawn-